


An Angsty Desvan One-Shot with *gasp* Zero Fluff!

by Rocknoutfrthdead



Category: The Seven Realms Series - Cinda Williams Chima, The Shattered Realms Series - Cinda Williams Chima
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Short, Short and depressing, Someone dies, Unfinished, literally I was gonna cry that's why I didn't finish this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rocknoutfrthdead/pseuds/Rocknoutfrthdead
Summary: It's angsty. Evan relives memories of Destin. This is probably my last ever Shattered Realms related work, I've moved on.
Relationships: Destin Karn/Evan Strangward
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	An Angsty Desvan One-Shot with *gasp* Zero Fluff!

Rain. Pounding on the door. Harper’s voice, begging. A body, broken and bleeding. His body. And he was all the same: hazel eyes, light skin, sun-streaked brown hair. Except now he was dead. Dead. The word left such a bitter taste on his tongue. How could you leave me? He remembered thinking. There’s no way, not you. You’d never give up without a fight. But there had been a fight. Harper said the bodies of four other assassins were found along with his. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You weren’t supposed to die. Not after everything else. The tears didn’t come right away, it took a few hours. It took seeing his cold, dead body for the tears to come. It took holding the body in his arms for him to break. And as of now, he’s still not back together.

Waking up was the hardest. Rolling over every morning and expecting him to be laying right there, or just around the corner, or out late on a mission, or up early for a briefing. But then it would all crash down over him again: that Destin was gone, dead, never coming home, and Evan would fall again, get angry or sad or just feel nothing at all.   
The first week, everyone left him alone. They all knew how loss could feel, after all. That was how it was living in a country once ravaged by war. No one lives without losses. But then, people started trying to comfort him. First, it was Harper Matelon. Then, when he was unresponsive, it was Halston Matelon. After that, Adrian. Then when they could get her there, Jenna. Evan knew they were just trying to help, but it didn’t really matter. Destin was gone, gone, really truly gone. Everything else seemed inconsequential when compared to the loss of the only person he ever loved. For the hundredth time, Evan regreted never telling Destin that. A memory washed over him.  
It was late at night. They’d stayed up late talking, and it felt good. Evan never got tired of hearing Destin talk. The way he saw the world, the way his mind worked, it was all so different and so special and it always made Evan feel trusted, to hear out loud what Destin was thinking inside. They were sitting together, Evan curled up against Destin’s chest, legs sprawling over the side of the chair, Destin’s hands idly toying with Evan’s hair. Both of them were tired, but neither wanted to be the one to say goodnight. Then Destin said softly, “You know, Ev, you’re the only person in this world who really loves me. And you’re the only person I truly feel I love.” Evan choked up. Because he’d been thinking the same thing. But that’s not what he said. Instead, he said, “You’re damn lucky you found me, then, otherwise your life would be pretty lonely.” and Destin just nodded. That night, Evan fell asleep in Destin’s arms He had a vague, half asleep memory of Destin trying to stand and carry him to bed, but failing in the end and just contenting himself with staying there until he fell asleep as well.  
A knocking on the door woke Evan from his memory. “Yes?” he said, not even bothering to keep the tremor out of his voice. “Evan? It’s Hal. I thought- you need to come out of there, okay?” Evan shook his head miserably, though Hal couldn’t see that. “Why? Can’t you just leave me?” “Evan. You know I can’t. Not today.” Hal said, and his voice was soft, which was unusual. “What’s today?” Evan asked uncertainly. “His funeral. I thought Jenna told you.” Evan opened the door a crack to see Matelon dressed in a black Ardenine military uniform, a simple gold circlet in his hair. The shining silver ring on his finger was like a punch in the chest to Evan, the reminder that Hal and Lyss got their happy ending while Evan was never going to get his with the person he loved, because that person was dead.  
“I’ll be there soon.” Evan said, voice trembling as he slammed the door in Hal’s face. It wasn’t his fault, of course. But it was easier to be angry at Hal than getting completely lost in his memories of Destin, so Evan was going to end up being angry all the same. He walked towards the chair where Jenna had sat when she’d visited three days ago, and had left a bundle of clothes. Loose black pants, black boots, a black shirt and black vest. After a moment’s contemplation, Evan picked up Destin’s amulet, which was resting on his floor, and placed it around his neck so it rested next to his own. It hit Evan suddenly that both of the amulets he wore were actually Destin’s.   
It was been Solstace. Evan and Destin arrived at Marina’s Swansea cottage at midmorning. He remembered being nervous as he stepped away from Destin and discreetly headed for Shadow Dancer, the clan flashcrafter. “Do you have it?” he’d whispered. “Yes, of course. Where’s my money?” Evan took the amulet, wrapped in brown paper, and handed Shadow a handful of coins. “That should be enough to cover it. Thanks, Shadow.” Evan had said. Then, as the others milled about and laughed and talked, he approached Destin, who was standing awkwardly off to the side as he was inclined to do. “Hey, Des, I have something for you.” Evan had said, tapping him on the shoulder. “Why? I mean, what is it? I mean, you didn’t have to.” Evan laughed at his stuttering. “You used to be so articulate. What happened?” he teased. Destin shrugged and looked embarrassed. “I’m trying to not strike fear in everyone. No one here trusts me, now that the war is over. I’d like to change that.” “What, am I not enough for you?” Evan teased. Destin rolled his eyes. “Stop hogging the spotlight, pirate. You’re great and all, but I need more than just one friend.” Evan shook his head, then pressed the package into Destin’s hand. “Open it!” Destin complied, and carefully uncrumpled the paper around the gift. Pulling it back, he revealed a newly made amulet. Gleaming in the light, it was a cloudy circular gemstone. It was mainly a bluey-green, with streaks of white and grey and black shot through it. The chain was silver and well-made, so it wouldn’t snap easily. Evan’s eyes were on Destin’s face, searching for a reaction. To his surprise, tears came to Destin’s eyes. “Thank you, Pirate. I- this is perfect.” As he said this, Destin yanked off his old amulet, a basic piece of flashcraft given to Destin by King Gerard years ago. He placed the new one around his neck, adjusting it so the stone sat right on his chest. “So, d’you like it?” Evan asked, grinning because he already knew the answer. “I’ll never take it off as long as I live.” Destin replied, and kissed Evan.  
The memory was nearly too much for Evan. He gripped the amulet tight, and he could feel the flash that was Destin’s, not his. Evan had made sure not to let any of his own flash be stored in Destin’s amulet, for fear of losing the feel of his flash. It was the only thing he had left of Destin, the only way he could feel connected to him. Even if it wasn't real. The moment wasn’t going to last. Evan needed to be at Destin’s funeral, to say goodbye. He wasn’t sure if it would help ease his grief, but for Destin’s sake he had to try to get better. Then, someday, he might be reunited with the one he loved. Evan looked to the ceiling. “If you’re out there,” he whispered, “I love you.” Then he pushed open the door and left his room, drying the tears from his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> This is how I say goodbye to my Shattered Realms blog on tumblr! Don't worry, the posts will still be there (like my 100 reasons to love Destin Karn) but there probably won't be anything new after this. Thank you for reading, weather you came from my blog or are just searching for any content relating to this series. I've been @wrongshatteredrealms on tumblr. Love you all, never stop shipping the best ship!


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